To Those Ending an Era, or Tomorrow You'll Be Gone, or What Will You Save?

It's happening. You may not be aware, or it may be what is defining your life. You may not feel anything or you may have lost the ability to feel anything because you've felt everything. Despite the combination, it is happening; you are completing an era, and it will change you. Your giddy rondo will move into the next movement and become an elegy, but unlike music you will never again revisit the era from which you depart. You may again hear a theme or motif from a treasured movement later in your symphony, but the exact expression created by the intricate weaving of your emotions during this era will never be reprieved - at least not long enough to satisfy that nostalgic craving.

So take your time. Let the taste linger before you cleanse your palate and move on. Spend time with those around you that you know you'll never see again, but more importantly spend time with those most important to you. Sometimes, it's the least expected people who leave your life. And they are the ones who will sadden you the most, once you realize. Last you remember, your best friend and you had been  laughing, crying, skinny dipping in the creek, getting existential under the stars, understanding each other completely during the silences. Where did it all go? Well you see, when you left, a great divide opened up and began consuming your understanding. Playing "Let's Get Coffee and Catch Up on Life!" slowly becomes a futile attempt to grab the most important things from falling into the divide. It's like the question "What five items would you save if your house was burning down?" Except the items aren't necessarily material. I'll save the boy who took my innocence, the friend who killed himself, the glasses broken while drunkenly streaking, the album that got me through the winter, and the knowledge gained from a complete stranger you spent the day with and never saw again. But all the little bits that make up the idiosyncrasies that make you unique get burned up. So... What will you save?

At the end of an era, everything becomes symbolic. Giving your box of old toys to Goodwill becomes a metaphor for your loss of innocence. A party around a fire becomes a parting of ways, and the burning of what brought you all together. In reality, symbolism is only real in that it's human.

It's happening. And you're intensely aware. It's the beginning of summer and it's the months for goodbyes, for nostalgia, and coping. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll do things you never thought you'd do before. And you'll think about everything more than you ever have before. You may figure out, perhaps, that the question is not what will you save but what CAN you save. And whatever you find you can save, hold onto for dear life because what stays now will be some of the most important aspects of your life. And suddenly the summer is coming to a close. It was a later and its become a now and you have no idea how that happened I mean you only closed your eyes for one night didn't you? And after one more night theres only one week left and there's so much to do but doing anything makes you break down and cry into your best friends shoulder and the moving van is all packed, hey do you think we could get some coffee I need energy and I leave soon? Now. Tomorrow. better hurry. Say goodbye to family, say goodbye to best friends, goodbyes to friends and acquaintances who will completely fall into the divide themselves. Say goodbye to your bed and your dog and the tree you would climb and read in back when you were young and innocent. What do you mean that was only a month ago? i'm leaving, no time for memories now, unless we're making them. memory making machines, set precariously on the edge of the divide. be careful not to fall in.

Tomorrow you'll be gone. we'll all be gone, won't we? no one left... hey I was literally just about to call you, i really need to see you. okay perfect, let's get coffee. I need energy, just put the last box into the car. yeah we leave tomorrow afternoon. so i need coffee because i dont want to close my eyes again. Let's not close our eyes together. see you soon.

I know, and youll let me know next time youre back in town right? hug me tight please or i wont make it. I'm going to fall asleep again soon, I can tell. I don't want to, but I'm going to. Tomorrow will be my last day awake for a while. oh wait i mean today, i need to go now or we'll be late... i cant do this i can't say goodbye please don't leave me. I know you're not leaving me i'll always be here too just for you...

I'll see you soon.

And you watch out the back window as you leave them behind, waving, the tears hidden in the shine of the sun. You pass the places you've always known and you'll always remember. And even though you may return, they won't be the same place anymore. Your friends won't be the same people. The sun won't have the same shine and the tears won't have the same weight. It's always the unexpected. It's always the most painful. Changing and forgetting - these are the hardest of it all......




Yeah, I remember that! Oh god, that day was perfect. And then when we went down to the lighthouse and watched the tide roll out and the sun go down? I miss those days. Eh this coffee is a bit burned. My  friend at college loves burned coffee and I don't understand. Yeah, I broke up with Erik... it was about a month ago or so. I met this other guy and it really made me realize, you know?, that like I wasn't getting what I wanted out of life and I needed to change things. Get back to where I was last summer. Yeah! Oh this scar? It was stupid really, i was like running around and a friend from college bumped me with her car and I fell onto a curb. Hahaha it wasn't so bad but ya know?

Yeah, I've really missed you too. So much. I remember leaving... like it was yesterday. Wait wasn't it? I think I'm waking up again. huh? what'd you say? Ohh yeah, you're so right. Well, anyway.....

What have you saved?